please. help me please

a little voice squeaks,

' you have to be strong, real strong.

nothing else can hurt you more than yourself.

and those deceptions you have, you have to clear them away.

let those unhappiness pass.

then you can get peace in mind.'

i know i have to walk this through myself.

sometimes i feel really weak.

the memories worn me off days by days.

every thought of him comes with an unbearable pain.

its not anyone's fault.

but i have to hold on to this.

' pain, come to me. divulge me. and i stand here unharmed.'

dreams are vivid.

every night ever since is running in parallel worlds.

that is life in limbo.

would you want that?

but the subconsciousness are nailed in deep fuzziness.

come back. come back.

the mind wanders like wind and clouds.

slashing through my heart.

that was where the pain grows.

dies off.

then it grows more.

could i stop this?

i am the only one to answer to this.

let me walk this through. let me. please.

i pray for deep peace.

leaving the past behind. please.