runaway or another

1128pm. february 15th. so close to another thursday.
it's still open studio. and there are still people around here. looking around me, i feel a bit sorry. and a little sad, of all things we are suppose to do in architecture is to stay in a cramp little space and think about spaces beyond. i am still struggling in the making of the illusionary spaces, or put it literary, is how to transform an egg to a room. well, my mind got a little bit cranked up, and the models dont work.
emptiness, they suggest. and the emptiness snarled at themselves, amd looking at me restlessly.

i was walking along the passage along the conservatory music and finally turned into a small alley and approached this room in front of me. scalebar. and there are still some people hanging around there. might be printing for panels, i guess. i walked in, asked about the service, got angry with the unfriendly and unsincere operator, and turned away from her. sometimes, i think it is good to hate these nasty people who are lingering around in my life. even if we cross each other path, it really doesnt matter if i dislike you, i mean, really do-not-want-to-befriend-you. hahaha, its good that architecture had made me stand up and complain, errr, i mean speak-up fro certain things. well, even it is not about aesthetic purpose.

and the next door year threes are just quiet. most of them had gone back home. and this level is almost colonised by the year twos. studio, well, with just a mere table and chair plus a personal computer that made up a space that we will have to work in. and i remembered how my tutor complained about these useless and nonsensical spaces. that was a real shock to me. whether we need defined or undefined spaces. like nomads in the older times, now the modern urbanites are looking for some kind of adaptable spaces. so is defined spaces still appropriate to this context? somehow i hadnt started a real conversation on this and from my friend youjie's point of view, it is just an uninteresting subject.

oh well. what does it take to get the interest of people? telling about the lightbulbs or the chicken crossing joke? well, dumb blondes wont work anymore. its caleld legally blonde now. and thats how we need to expand our horizons and think about something funny. or funnier.

and basically i was kinda angry. for i myself made me do work at this hour. and reality is that i am doing nothing except scribbling on this blog. and i really wonder how far i could go for tomorrow presenatation. by the way, hey audience, i almost forgot to tell you how sad that day i was disbanded from my presentation and get the worst feedback of the day. and yes, thats form maria warner wong whom i look up to and now its a disgraceful act that i got a damn pissed presentation.

i wonder what is wrong. if that seems to be another chance that i was to be told that this is another unsuccessful attempt, i think i would rathet go die. because frankly speaking i do not know what else to be done in the rest of my life. ( and passively this is the actual mindset i have now) and so, i pray so hard that i would not be punished for all these silly mistakes.

and so lets end this and get the tower of babel built. and i had warned myself against the hall activities and so, hey ya, get over with them and start as a new leaf!!!